Normally, my dreams consist of me (or rather, my alter ego) running around, blowing stuff up, rescuing random people, and generally being the ‘cool hero guy’. This is partly because I have been able to lucid dream since I was about 5, and partly because I am egotistical and enjoy being the cool hero guy. Lately however, I have been locked out of my own dreams. I am able to go lucid, but that makes it all the more annoying, because I know I’m in a dream, but can’t do anything about it. I’m not even in my alter ego form, I’m just me. Less than me, actually, as I’m not actually that dorky. But anyway, my dreams have basically stopped being a video game with a make-it-up-as-you-go-along plot, and become a bad TV series based extremely loosely on the video game.

In fact, the TV series has only had one episode, and is already going into reruns. I have had the exact same dream 3 times, and that is never a good sign. I won’t tell you what happens in the dream as...

1. It’s really lame.
2. It’s slightly embarrassing.

All you need to know is that I’m sick of it. Tonight I’m going to try something desperate. That’s right, you know what I’m talking about...


___NIGHT ONE___
(aka. Narration style change)

Things were not going well when I achieved lucidity, it was the same dream as it had been the past 3 nights, and I was at the part where if I didn’t break out of it and escape soon, I was going to wake up at 2:00 am and be unable to go back to sleep for the rest of the night. It was now or never to put my plan into action... (note to self: stop using ellipsi)

“BLAAAAAAAARRRRRRRG!” I screamed whilst doing a Dragonball-Z-esque constipation pose. Then I waited for a little while with my eyes closed. When I opened them again I found that absolutely nothing had changed. My plan to go into alter ego form had failed. I almost surrendered to whatever evil that had thrust itself upon me when I realized I was dribbling a basketball.

Wondering where the basketball had come from, I stopped dribbling and looked at it. “What the crap? Why do I have a basketball? I don’t play Basketball.” Even while I said these words, the basketball changed into a rather familiar, but rather different shape.

“YIPE!” I was so startled at what I held in my hand, that I dropped the ball (literally). But instead of falling straight to the ground and breaking, the yellow sphere that was once a basketball started circling around me, along with 4 others of other colors. “This is some freaky $***,” I thought. “I’m now stuck in a NiGHTS Into Dreams fanfic. Except this one is more like DiPWAT Into Dreams.” I was losing hope of ever retaining a sense of normalcy in my dreams. Except that HOPE cannot be lost while it is spinning around you at mach 2 and/or being dribbled like a basketball. I smiled and called it back into my hand.

It was kind of cool looking. And shiny. everyone likes having shinys, Including bad guys. The major difference being that the bad guys want your shinys. It was this train of thought that led me to realize that said bad guys were standing around me waiting for me to get done with said train of thought so they could scare the pants off of me and steal said shinys.

I was replacing my belt while mumbling about how a sleepless night wouldn’t be so bad right about now; when out of the corner of my eye, I saw one of the bad things try to grab my blue ideya. Granted, I don’t use wisdom much at any time, but it’s still mine! My greed got the better of me, which was almost a good thing. All the ideya schlorped back into me and a plaid light was starting to fill the air around me (the air was also filled with multiple curses at the “thieving chowderheads,” but that goes without saying), signaling the transformation into my alter ego form. I guess these bad things had plans that didn’t involve my Cheesy Deathing their nightmarish backsides, because they gave up on the typical nightmaren plan of grabbing the ideya and running; and instead opted to grab ME and run.

___EXIT REM SLEEP___